Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A little aNXieTY,...

...ok a lot, has hit me. I am STILL trying to make the big decision of going back to school. Taking the next step to register and pay for it is so overwhelming. I have so much anxiety about this one decision because it effects other decisions that are destined to be in my near future ;) I know this may not make sense to anyone but it does to me. My life has changed so much these past few months, maybe I have grown a little, and this is why I am torn. If I return to school, I must stay cOMmiTtED as this decision not anly effects me, but Jerry and our future children....

The contemplation continues and I hope and pray that whatever happens is what is meant to be.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The need for more...

I need and want to return to school SO bad. I feel that where I am at now is not where I want to be. I miss school; strange I know, but it is the only way for me to do what I want. I miss the paper writing, the urge to learn something new, the integration of new theories into daily context, the A grade on my papers, my mom helping me edit and give me suggestions, and so much more....
I WILL be returning; the hope is to begin in the summer. I just need to work up the courage to register. I have never worked full time and been a student. I was always lucky to only have to work part time or not at all. Not possible this time around. I know that I should get my masters and begin in my NEW career before starting my family, but this too delays my other dream of being a mOThEr. So much that I want to do, and I feel as though there is no time...time is so precious. This I know. But my education and strife for more is what makes my wheels turn. I'm only 25 yet I feel as though my mind is older. I am like my mother in this sense. We are destined for being a a perma-student!
Oh how this need for more is so uplifting, yet so scary! We will see where this year takes me...

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Carter Wesley



My nephew, Carter, is one of the great joys in my life. Although I only spent a few months with him here in AZ before they moved, I still feel so close to him. He doesn't know my face, he probably wont recognize me when I see him next; but I know in my heaRt he recognizes my voice when I talk to him! I hope that someday soon, he will live near us again so that I can see him GroW, lEArN, eXpLORe and SmiLE. I pray that he continues to be blessed and I can't wait to be near my brother so him and I can share in the joys of parenthood as we both venture on in our adulthood.
I love you CW!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

We are getting MARRIED this year...


Welcome 2009, baby!! This year is going to be FAbulOuS. These first few months will be stressful, yet fun! I am looking forward to all the joyous things that are coming my way. I get to see my momma this month, which I am really excited about because it will be the first time since I am engaged that she can do wedding stuff with me. I will be waiting to try on MY dress for the first time when she is here, so that she can see it on me first :) We will also be doing some of the more detail oriented things when she is here...it should be fun!




Today my best friend and I put together my Bridal Shower invites that, by the way, are awesome! They are scrapbook looking and totally fit my theme and love for cute things ;) I really appreciate all that Cristal has done thus far for my wedding and there is SO much more to come. I need to desperately make a detailed LisT of what is left for me to do. I know that there are so many details that could be overlooked....


I'm SO happy to be marrying this man and am thankful to start another year with him right by my side....


You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. ~ Sam Keen